'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just found puke in my bra..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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