it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
