you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize