If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
