U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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