you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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