He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
