Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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