How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
