Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
