if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
