? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
