Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize