Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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