How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
