I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
