And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
