so that wasnt chicken after all
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
