i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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