Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The air was thick with penises
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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