pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
