she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
