im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
