You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
