Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize