Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
