i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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