bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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