she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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