a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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