fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
