dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
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pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
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We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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