Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
