swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
