this beer tastes like vomit already
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
