thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
