No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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