Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
