i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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