i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
