you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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