it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
