He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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