no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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