What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
