I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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