i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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