Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Blood and glitter go together right?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
