thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i drank out of a bidet.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
