I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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