They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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