Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
