Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
