I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
