He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize