And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
