I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
