I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
