there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
