her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
