I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
