If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
