i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize